hi i'm mariah and this is a blog dedicated to taylor swift, the vamps, and 5 seconds of summer

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My mom went to a psychic when I was 12 years old and was told the whole world will know your daughter’s name. But my mom thought that meant I was going to be kidnapped.
Taylor Swift (via tsweezys) ←

In which my dad learns about purses and jeans sizes.

  • My dad: Your sister's crazy. Who'd want a $200 purse?
  • Me: She does.
  • My dad: What is it with ladies purses, anyway?
  • Me: (glancing at my purse) What do you mean?
  • My dad: How did that start--I mean, why do women use them? Doesn't it get tiring carrying a bag around all the time?
  • Me: (stands up and turns around) See those pockets?
  • My dad: ... Yes?
  • Me: What can I fit in them?
  • My dad: What?
  • Me: How many things do you think I could fit in my pockets? Honestly. How many things?
  • My dad: Doesn't look like you could fit much.
  • Me: A pack of Orbit, some folded bills, and that's about it. That's why we use purses--because we can't carry our shit in our pockets like you do.
  • My dad: But I can fit my wallet, my keys, and my cigarettes in my pockets!
  • Me: And your jeans also fit the way they should.
  • My dad: I'm almost afraid to ask, but what do you mean?
  • Me: Your jeans are sized by, what, your inseam and waist, right?
  • My dad: ... Aren't yours?
  • Me: I'm a size 3.
  • My dad: 3 what?
  • Me: No, just a 3. A size 3.
  • My dad: What does that mean?
  • Me: I actually have no idea. I'm a size 3 in these jeans. In some other jeans, I'm a 5. I'm a 7 in my favorite pair of shorts.
  • My dad: Wait, it's not the same?
  • Me: Nope. A size 3 in one brand's jeans is completely different from a size 3 in another brand.
  • My dad: That's fucking stupid! How do you shop for them?!
  • Me: With great difficulty. This is why when you ask me what I did during the week and despite the fact I know you won't care I sometimes tell you I found a pair of jeans. Because finding a pair of jeans that fit and fit well is like finding the Holy Grail with your name encrusted in diamonds on it


Track: 1989 release theme song

youdontknowhownicethatisbutido:

i-was-looking-at-you:

rudeinterruptions13:

yoursweetdispositon:

Just a prediction for October 27

LMFAO I don’t think I’ve ever reblogged something so fast! THIS IS SO ACCURATE

I LAUGHED SO HARD THAT I ALMOST DIED

RIP ME. I DIED. DEAD.

screamingiminlovewithyou:

TAYLOR SWIFT IS NOT

  • POP
  • ROCK
  • COUNTRY
  • SOUL
  • R&B
  • LATINO
  • BLUES
  • ALTERNATIVE
  • JINGLES

TAYLOR SWIFT IS

  • TAYLOR SWIFT

tayliswift:

*skips sleep, school and social life because taylor might do a thing*

sassypotter:

allabitofablur:

ellanarosetw:

theladymonsters:

superbmarksman:

i always end up thinking about the economic damage in superhero movies

make a movie.

the movie would be set entirely in the office of one over-worked insurance agent answering phone calls and in the window behind him we see various Super Heroes destroying things

Cast Amy Poehler

shes-universal:

LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS THO #taylorswift

shes-universal:

LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS THO #taylorswift

sassypotter:

allabitofablur:

ellanarosetw:

theladymonsters:

superbmarksman:

i always end up thinking about the economic damage in superhero movies

make a movie.

the movie would be set entirely in the office of one over-worked insurance agent answering phone calls and in the window behind him we see various Super Heroes destroying things

Cast Amy Poehler

tayliswift:

*skips sleep, school and social life because taylor might do a thing*

themrcreepypasta:

beary-it:

witchsmoke:

tianyi:

halloween should be 1 week long

halloweek

Hallowmonth.

image

boys-and-suicide:

Just remember in about 40 seconds someone is about to commit suicide as we sit here blogging. This post goes out to the teens who took and will take their lives. Please just reblog this post to recognize them and don’t question whether or not you should. I promise it won’t ruin your blog type.

makeitearlgrey:

Supernatural is a really weird show

the-fandoms-are-cool:

guns-n-cardigans:

ill-be-fine-love:

gayreyna:

things girls dont like about boys

  • "ew stop talking about tampons tmi"
  • *draws penis on literally everything*
  • "whoa chill out it’s just a joke"
  • "yeah it’s 8 inches"
  • "she looks like such a bitch"
  • "lmao im such a lesbian"
  • "if you like girls why dont you dress like one"
  • "Yeah childbirth hurts but have you ever been kicked in the balls"

"period cramps cant be that bad”

"Jesus. Are you on your period?

Gaaaaaay.”